"Ashamed"

Dear Lord, I'm so ashamed,
of my complaining heart.
The part of me that wants to give up
the works I barely start.
Why am I so prone to quitting
when you gave Your life for me?
Won't you open my blind eyes,
so that I once more can see?
My stomach is a giant knot,
by heart is bleeding too.
And I'm ashamed how much it took
for me to come to you.
Have I lost my way? Sweet Father,
whatever have I done?
I can't believe I'm such a fool
to look away from your son.
The lumps in my throat are swelling,
and I just can't stand the pain.
Why can't I be satisfied?
And why so much distane?
I think I've lost perspective,
I think I've lost my view.
Without you first in my life,
what ever could I do?
Why is my brain throbbing,
I long for your dear peace.
I long for your presence to embrace me,
and put me back at ease.
The tears, they stain my pillow,
until the day that I return.
And set ablaze my heart dear Lord,
and let a passionate fire burn.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 9/29/2007)