Poetry by Evelyn

"My Heart is Taken!"

2011-08-14T06:48:00.000-07:00

My heart is taken! Yep, by the most special man!
You'll never guess who, He's the "Great I Am",
He's the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end,
And He's the One for me, He's my forever friend.
He's got my heart, and my whole life too!
My body I give to do what only He wants me to!
I see you girls all wondering, why I don't settle down,
But you see, I'm already taken, by the man who wears the crown.
He's the King of kings and the Lord of lords, He's all I've ever needed.
I know that if I follow Him, I won't be lost where I'm leaded.
He's my strength when I am weakest; He's my joy when I am down,
He's every need I have completed; He's the reason I don't frown!
He's the one who saved my soul, and loves me though I sin.
He's the one who pulls me out of each trial I fall in.
You wonder why I'm not lonely? You wonder why I'm glad?
Because I've found the best friend, that a girl could ever have.
JESUS!

Copyright by Evelyn Worthington
Written 3:03am August 2, 2011

"Unconditionally Loved"

2011-02-11T22:17:00.000-08:00

Could it be true? Is it possible? You cherish me like a princess.
I have been abandoned; I have been broken and left feeling worthless.
Could it be that I am beautiful in Your eyes?
For so many years, I have believed lies...
I am Yours. No one can take that from me!
I don't have to change for You to love me!
YOU KNOW ME and You cherish me as Your princess...
So many men, Lord, in my life have caused so much pain,
Those that should have been protecting me have hurt me over and over again.
How can it be? No one has loved me unconditionally before.
So long I have protected myself...
Too long I have believed that I don't deserve Your best.

I DON'T DESERVE YOUR LOVE! How beautiful that You love me still.
I have been tossed aside; I have been treated as worthless,
How can it be that I am Your princess?
Your grace is sufficient to sustain me day by day,
Take my hand, Daddy; guide me in Your way.

I have been broken, I have been trashed, I have been left all alone.
I don't deserve Your love, You've given me a home!
I cannot earn Your favor, and I cannot lose Your love.
How can it be? Don't You know? I've never been loved unconditionally.
In You I find refuge! In You, I can be the girl You created me to be!
I don't have to be guarded anymore; I don't have to hide in fear!
How incredibly good to know: You love me! I can cry to You!
You brush away the tears and say that I am beautiful.
This security and peace, I have not known for oh so long!
The tears flow like a river, how can it be? How can it be?
My perfect God loves me UNCONDITIONALLY!!!

(copyright written by Evelyn Worthington)
(written February 12, 2011 12:00am)

"I Need You More Than Ever"

2010-09-20T02:22:00.000-07:00

Lord, this road You have me on is not an easy one to tread.
God, I don't know what I'm doing. I need You now more than ever.
I feel so alone and scared God. I'm weighed down with fear and anxiety.
I need You now, Lord Jesus, more than ever, how I need thee.
I'm not alone, why can't I see? You are ever with me!
I'm not alone, why don't I feel? Your loving arms are all around me.
I'm not alone, why don't I know? Surely You never left me here alone.
I'm not alone, why don't I hear? You gently whisper in my ear.
Dear Jesus, this road is long and hard, I need You more than ever.
I need You more than I can express, I need You desperately.
I need You leading me, guiding me, and comforting me.
I need You, Jesus, help me to see, that You, my King, are all I need.

Copyright by Evelyn Worthington
Written September 20, 2010

"Following God's Leading"

2010-08-09T20:55:00.000-07:00

Your Word says that those who wait on You shall renew their strength.
Your Word says that when I am weak, You will be strong for me.
Your Word says to trust You in all that I do and don't look to myself.
And so I am waiting for Your timing God, for You know what's best.
I am waiting for You because You have the plan and the roadmap.
You're the perfect guide.
When I feel lost, I will take Your hand. You're always at my side.
Lord, help me when I'm weak and questioning Your guidance.
Help me to see where You want for me to be.
Open the doors You want me to go through and close tightly those You don't.
I'm praying for Your leading and my maturity! Lord help me every step!
Because, God, sometimes I'm afraid because I'm not trusting You.
And sometimes I feel alone, because I'm not spending time with You.
And I feel like I'm too small, too incapable,
because I'm not acknowledging your power like I should.
I need You, Daddy, more than ever before!
I'm praying for You to let me know the timing You have in store.
When my plans and Your plans don't turn out the same,
I pray I'll go with Yours, and trust in You again.
I love you Lord.

copyright Evelyn Worthington
Written 11:00pm August 9, 2010

"Leaving for Uruguay"

2010-05-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

As I board the plane and say goodbye, hello is coming soon.
I know that this is not just an adventure, but the beginning of something new.
As I look back on my life so far, it's like God had all of this planned.
He knows what He's doing and so I will follow His guiding right hand.
His ways are not my ways, His ways are far above me.
I'm not afraid for He's my strength, He reminds me that He loves me.
I'm not afraid because I know that God has a plan in all of this.
He has a reason for preparing me and ultimately He has a purpose.
I can tell you what I think I'll do, I can tell you what I've planned.
But ultimately it's all up to Him and this whole trip is in His hands.
I know I'm saying goodbye for a while, but I feel like I'm going home.
I can't explain it, and I don't think you'll understand, but in my heart I know.
This is the best decision I've ever made, but I feel like God made it for me.
So as I step off the plane again, I look forward to what lies before me.

(copyright written by Evelyn Worthington)
(Written May 24, 2010 12:36 am)

"His Love Means Everything"

2010-02-20T10:13:00.000-08:00

Who can know love? Who can understand it?
Who can tame it? And who can claim it?
Love is a confusing thing.
Are you sure you really know what it is?
Is it only a want to be near someone?
Or is it more?
Could it be that we don’t really know?
Maybe it’s some lost art form?
Could it be as simple as a feeling or a thought?
Could it be more? Could it be less?
Could it be nothing? Or could it be everything?
Is love found in a kiss? Or maybe in a promise?
Is it found in your love notes? Or maybe in your whispers?
Is love found in secret? Or is it something different entirely?
I don’t know I’ll ever know your kind of love. I don’t think it’s for me.
You see, I’ve had a taste of a different flavor, and I can’t be cured!
I’m hooked, no turning back, no way out, it’s all there is for me!
My God loved me more than you can whisper, kiss, or promise,
My God bled and died, to buy me eternal life!
My God whispered His love, when He said,
“Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
He loved me more than anyone else could ever get close.
He loved me more than, you or I will ever know!
My God took me in and cleaned me up,
My life was a wreck, and He saved me!
I didn’t earn His love. I couldn’t win a beauty contest for it.
I couldn’t earn it with the right look or the right walk.
He earned my affections on the cross.
Now I’m lost in His love. Eternally I am His.
Your love means nothing to me,
His love means EVERYTHING.

(written at 3:16 am February 20, 2010)
(copyright Evelyn Worthington)

"My Amazing God"

2010-02-20T10:11:00.000-08:00

God, you hear me when I pray. You count my tears. You’re close to the brokenhearted.
You are a father to the father-less. You are the strength for the weak.
You are from everlasting to everlasting, You are my God!
You’re Jehovah Jireh, my provider. You dined with sinners and healed the sick.
You showed compassion on the crowds, you fed the five-thousand.
You cared for the woman at the well, you save sinners from the gates of hell.
You died and paid the price, to cover all my sin. You’re amazing, you’re wonderful.
You’re all I need, you’re all I want, you’re more that I can understand.
I am nothing, but you love me still. You made me in your image.
But you remember that I was dust. My days are like the grass, short and sweet my life will be.
You have planned and put in place all of eternity.
You are a mighty king, and a loving father, a mighty God, and a humble servant.
Who can understand you? Yet you know every fiber of my being.
You made my every part, you’ve numbered the hairs on my head.
It shouldn’t matter to you, but it does! God, you are indescribable!
You have loved the sinner and the saint, the Jew and Greek, slave and free,
You have made a way for all mankind to have eternal life through you!
How can this be? But I know that it’s true! How do I know?
Because I know you! I love you God! But you love me a billion times more.
I can’t comprehend what you have in store.
All I know, God, is that you are good.
That’s all I know, and all I should.

(written at 3:07 am February 2010)
(copyright Evelyn Worthington)

"Don't Wait"

2010-02-20T10:09:00.000-08:00

He has loved you with an everlasting love; He has paid the highest price,
But still you turn away to your pleasures, your disobedience, rebellion, and lusts.
Don’t wait until it’s too late.
You hate and kill when you could have all that you need and more.
But you want gratified instantly, you can’t wait for what’s in store.
Don’t wait until it is too late!
You’ve scorned your Maker and disgraced Him to His face,
You’ve spat upon the One who offered you amazing grace.
Don’t wait! I beg of you, don’t wait!
Don’t wait ‘til it’s too late!
Today could be your day! Don’t wait ‘til it’s too late!
God is not mocked, beware your fate!
Life is short, but eternity is forever. When Christ came, He died
So that you could be born again, die to the flesh, and born to new life.
Can’t you hear me? I’m calling in the streets! The hour is soon!
Can’t you hear him? God is speaking to your heart today!
Won’t you repent and pray? …before it’s too late?
(written at 12:46 am February 20,2010)
(copyright Evelyn Worthington)

"Is it Worth It?"

2010-01-13T12:59:00.000-08:00

Is it worth it to wait for the right guy?
Is it worth it to wait for the right time?
Are there still things that I need to learn?
Could it be that I'm not ready yet?
Surely God is still preparing me!
Surely there is much yet to do!
Surely God knows the plan...
but then again, is there a man?
Maybe I'll be alone, is there anything wrong with that?
God is faithful to protect me,
God is faithful to provide...
I must be faithful to follow.
Maybe I need to stop thinking a man would improve things.
Maybe I'm better off thisway!
Maybe I won't be alone.
But maybe I won't have a family this way.
But maybe, then, that that's okay.
Why should I ever ask what if?
When I follow God's plan, it will all turn out okay!
What if I'll be a mother someday!
So much more to learn, so much more to grow!
God knows, better than I, He knows.
Your ways are higher than mine, O Lord,
I may never understand!
But God my future is in your hands!
It's worth it to wait on your plan.
So I will continue to serve you,
as I continue to wait,
your timing is perfect Lord,
I know that it's never too late.
(written 4:42 am January 7, 2010)
(copyright Evelyn Worthington)

"What does the Future Hold?"

2010-01-13T12:56:00.000-08:00

I'd like to ask a question, if I might be so bold...
What in the world does the future hold?
But then again, I take it back! Surprize me God,
somehow I know I couldn't handle it right now!

"Conversation with God"

2009-12-20T00:41:00.000-08:00

God, you never cease to amaze me, and what a God you are!
With your perfect hand you put in place each and every star!
Yet you care. How can it be? That you, my God, would care for me!
I don't deserve your love, your time, your anything...
But you give it all willingly, that is why I gave you my life,
It's not much God, but it's in your hands, no longer is it mine!
Following you is an adventure! I'm following your perfect will.
And as I do, you show me wonders anew, and I continue even still.
How great is your faithfulness oh God, even when I turn.
You love me and care for me patiently and help for me to learn.
Without you I am nothing, lost, afraid, and all alone,
But, Daddy, with you, I have a father, a shelter, and a home.
You gave me life when I was dead, you brought me from the grave.
And in my life and in my heart I can't find a reason for what you gave!
You paid the price for all my sin. How can it be true?
That you would love me so tenderly, as I have not loved you?
I was far from you when you paid the price; I was not right with you.
But you loved me and waited patiently to see what I would choose.
God, I get so frustrated with my impatient heart!
I get so scared and I don't trust you like I should have from the start!
I'm your child and I don't understand, in my simple child's mind.
Why you would patiently pick me up when I've fallen down in life.
I follow your plan with hesitation, I don't trust you fully like you deserve.
You take my hand and lead me, though my heart is so unsure.
"Why do I fear?" I want to scream. Why don't I trust with all my heart?
You're the potter, God, but can't you see? I'm ruining your art!
I'm not wise, as I once believed; I'm a lost and foolish sheep.
I get so anxious, so confused, that sometimes I lose sleep.
I ask you once again, my Lord, "Why did you choose me?"
"Can't you see I'm broken God?" "Won't you tell me what you see?"
"I'm not finished with you my child." You whisper tenderly.
"I know your fears and troubles, let them go, give them to me."
"Yes, you are my artwork, made in my image, but I'm not done."
"I'm forming you more each and every day into the image of my Son!"
"Just close your eyes and hold my hand, I will lead you every step of the way."
"There's no need to worry or fear, for by your side I'll stay."
(written December 20, 2009 2:00am)
(copyright Evelyn Worthington)

"How Hard it is to Trust Again"

2009-11-11T18:14:00.000-08:00

How hard it is to trust again,
When your dreams are crushed and your heart is broken.
How hard it is to allow the chance,
the glimmer of hope to enter again...
When you're guarded too tightly to let anything in.
With all of your doubt, and all of your fear, and your protecting wall;
How hard it is to tear down it all.
To open yourself up to where the soft-tissue is,
and more than that, your heart,
the part of you that feels the pain.
How hard it is to expose it again.
How comfortable your walls had been,
and how naked you feel without them.
How you long for protective arms,
the ones you used to trust,
to craddle you close without a fear,
Oh how you wish you had them near!
But everyone tells you to stop all the fuss
and find confidence in yourself.
You try to please the crowds,
while wondering how this would help.
You put on a mask to hide within,
How hard, even now, to trust again!
Don't let a soul see fear in your eyes!
You'll be confident and cool in your brand-new disguise!
How hard it is to trust again,
Though everyone but you is convinced that you can.
Daddy pulls you in His arms, removes your mask, and calms your heart.
"How hard it was to trust, my child" He whispers tenderly.
"But Daddy's got you now, and He's never going to leave."
"I'll be your shelter from the storm, I'll help you know the way."
"I'll never leave you nor forsake you,
for in my arms you'll stay."

Copyright Evelyn Worthington
12:45 am October 29, 2009

"Offering Crumbs to be Multiplied"

2009-11-11T17:43:00.000-08:00

Lord, I want to give it all,
all of my life to you.
For I get so lost all on my own,
without you to turn to.
I feel my offering's far too small,
I wish I could offer more.
I give my life to you and
wait for what's in store.
I'm such a fool, God,
can't you see?
I'm not worth all of the work.
I get so caught up in me, me, me,
I can be such a jerk.
I'm not worthy of your love,
too vast to comprehend,
but I'm so glad you do love me,
and on you I can depend.
God, I'm all in pieces, crumbs:
an irreversable mess.
Take me into your arms
and work in me your best.
Use me for your glory,
use me for your will.
And when I feel all alone and scared,
I pray you'll use me still.
I LOVE YOU LORD.

Copyright Evelyn Worthington
12:52 am October 27, 2009

"Waiting for a Godly Man"

2009-05-10T17:21:00.000-07:00

Some girls want a hansome man, or a guy who will treat them right,
To take them where they want to go, and say nice things all night.
Some women want a muscle man, who pumps iron and can work.
A man who will take her in his arms, and protect her from the jerks.
Some girls just want any guy who will take them by the hand,
take them out and make them feel special, beautiful, and grand.
Those Christian girls, they're in the habit of waiting for just the right man.
A man who will patiently woo and go to church too, and be a faithful husband.

Now I think all those guys are just fine, I think they work really hard.
But they can have those other girls; there's no place for those guys in my heart.

I'm holding out for a godly man. Are there any still out there?
A man after God's own heart, who waits patiently and with care.
It's easy to find a guy who will say and do what you like.
And it's easy for a man to neglect the heart and work just on the outside.
I'm holding out for a man who want's God's will in his life.
Who's willing to be single, until God tells him otherwise.
A man who's not like all the others, who hunt and trap their prey,
But a man who genuinely loves God's Word, and meditates on it every day.
I'm holding out for the kind of man who will make a sacrifice.
Who will consult God with every descision, and work to become wise.
And then when I come along, he'll be so intune with God,
he'll know that I'm the one, and I won't have to do a lot.

So you won't see me strutting my stuff, or see me with lots of guys.
Because I'm holding onto God's Word, and I'm working to be wise.
I'm willing to be single, even for the rest of my life.
I want God's will and not my own, this is my sacrifice.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 5/9/2009)

"Current Heartbreak and Future Joy"

2009-04-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

My dear and loving Father, I'm glad you know my pain.
I can't handle this burden on my own, I hate to feel this way!
Lord, I know it's all my fault, I need to guard my heart more.
Why am I so unwise to discern what you have me here for?
God I need more self-control, and patience would help too.
Lord I need more wisdom, to discern what You want me to do.
God I don't know Your will, and the surprizes that await.
But I'm waiting on Your timing, and until then I won't date.
I want to say a prayer for him, that man set aside for me.
I pray you're giving him patience and wisdom to become the man you want him to be.
I pray he'll seek your will alone, and follow You all his days.
May his feet be swift and beautiful and his voice to speak your praise.
Help him to be slow to anger, and always keep You first.
Help him to be self-controlled, and to love what is always good.
Help him to hold firmly to the trustworthy message of Truth.
Help him to cling whole-heartedly to what he was taught from his youth.
And for me I pray for patience, discernment, comfort, and wisdom.
To follow Your will alone and not make decisions that are dumb!!!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 04/15/2009)

"Crying Fool"

2009-01-08T14:41:00.000-08:00

I'm a fool, God, let's just face it, I'm on my face again,

crying out to you, Lord, for You're my only friend.

I'd rather run than face the facts, I need your help this time,

I need you to turn to me and say that "this one is mine".

I'm trapped within this mind inside of me,

this mind that won't let go of fear and anxiety.

This mind that repeats the bad, and leaves out the good.

and when I try to think on right, I don't think what I should.

Why am I so afraid of relying fully on thee?

Why am I so wrapped up in protecting me?

Didn't I promise I'd follow You alone?

Didn't I swear You're my one and only home?

Then why am I struggling to leave this place?

Struggling to say goodbye and face...

the next step that you have for me.

Change my heart God, for I am weak,

cut the ties I have to this world.

My dependence on anything you don't want,

I just want to be your girl!

I'm tired. I'm confused. I'm broken. I'm afraid.

Why Lord? Why? Why do I feel this way?

Why is my heart breaking? When you've been there all along?

Why am I so afraid of losing everything? Why am I not strong?

Why am I so sad? And feeling so let down?

Why am I so angry? When your love is all around?

It's time for me to be honest. I'll finally come clean:

I'm going to miss this stage of life, and the friends you've given me.

I'm scared of growing up alone. I want somebody to hold my hand.

I'd rather have a person with me, when visiting foreign land.

I'm scared of losing everything: my home, my friends, my joy.

I'm shivering in my boots, wondering, wishing, hoping....

If only I had just one person, here on this earth for all my years,

to share my life with, to share the laughter and the tears,

to hold me when I'm scared and help me find a home,

when I'm out in the world and feeling so alone.

God, it's hard to say goodbye, to friends I know and love.

To start brand new and depend on You and look to things above.

Help my heart to delight in You, and fill my longing Lord.

Help me to know and discern what you've placed me here for.

Once again I realize, and once again I see,

That you're the giver of Life, and You're the one I need!

God I'm crying out, I'm empty, alone, and scared,

I'm feeling so lost and so very unprepared.

Rid me of this selfishness and pride,

teach me, Father, lead me, be my guide.

I need you now to save me from myself and make me more like you!

Give me wisdom to discern what you want for me to do!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 1/6/2009)

"All I Need to Know"

2009-01-08T10:28:00.001-08:00

God I don't know anything... Life is so weird.

I'm just glad I'm not all by myself... I'm glad to know You're here.

Somedays, I swear I knew who I was and where I was going,

but lately, Lord, I don't know and my dependence on You is showing.

Is that so bad? I beg to differ, I'm glad I'm not too grown up to see:

You're the One who knows everything, You're the One I need.

Daddy, I get so lost, not knowing who I am or where to go.

And I realize that I'm Yours, and right now that's all I need to know.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 12/30/2008)

"My Everyday Single Girl Prayer"

2009-01-08T10:23:00.000-08:00

Lord you know my heart,

you know every part of me,

Help me to live this life,

please fulfill this need.

I have this longing Lord,

and you know what I mean,

I'm just praying you'll fill it up,

so I can be freed.

Lord, I want your timing,

but lately I'm lonely for only you know who.

That longing, that desire,

that missing someone, who knows? only you!

So Lord, I pray he's out there,

help me be patient and strong,

Help me to not struggle with this,

and help me not to long,

Teach him what he needs to know,

help me, Lord, depend on thee.

Help me not to be conceted,

and not to depend on me.

Help me to be wise and lead me in your ways.

Help me to trust in only you and follow you all my days.

Somedays are harder than others,

but today I feel so alone.

Help me to find my strength in you,

and in you to find my home.

If he's not out there,

then Lord, my prayer's the same.

Lead me, guide me, help me to feel your love,

and trust in Jesus' name.

God I come to you as your child,

lead me, make me like you.

Teach me your holy ways O Lord

and make me wholly devoted to you.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 12/10/2008)

"I Know"

2009-01-08T10:11:00.000-08:00

Lord I don't know what I'm doin'

in this life I've been livin',

I just know You've got the plan,

and You care about the world

You know my heart, and I'm Yours,

I'm Daddy’s little girl.

I know You love me more

than I will ever comprehend,

and I know You'll use me even when

I've messed up and I've sinned,

I know You care about my heart,

and not just appearance,

I know that it's not all about my actions,

but my loving obedience.

I know that You've got a message

that all the earth should know,

that You sent Your Son to die for sins

because You loved us so.

I know Lord that You call us,

and that You give us a choice.

I know that You strengthen believers

and give to us our voice.

I know You are my strength,

my song, my joy, and my defender,

But I can't begin to know why

You'd choose me love me: a sinner.

I know Your Word is the only word

in which I put all my trust,

and I know You are honest,

loving, trustworthy, and just.

I know that You're in control

and You do not wish that any should parish,

so You sent Your Son,

but the sins of the world are so great

and no one seeks after You,

no not even one.

But there's a lot that I don't know,

God, and sometimes it is hard.

I don't know what to do,

and sometimes I don't know where to start.

I know You've said You'll never leave,

but sometimes I forget,

When I think I'm all by myself

I do things I later regret.

God, I know it's not about the grades,

the clothes, the works,

But God, so often I forget

and my focus is on the looks.

I know You seek the humble,

the untalented, the shy, the meek,

but why do I struggle with comparing myself

and forget just what You seek?

I know that Your power is so vast,

beyond this universe,

but I am still surprised at each tiny glimpse

of your MIGHTY WORKS!

Your Word says that

You'll use the lowly to shame the bold,

then why am I still waiting for the confidence untold?

Why is it that I know so much,

but my life does not reflect it,

When I see people caught in sin,

so often I reject them.

God I know that You're the Potter,

You mold me, make me new.

Then why is it that I seek to improve upon myself

beyond what You plan to do?

Why is it that the more I know,

the less I come to depend,

When what I'm learning reminds me,

that You're all that matters in the end.

Why is it that it takes so much to drive me to my knees?

When I'd be on them all the time if your power I really tried to see

Lord, the more I come to know, the more I truly see.

That You're the one who understands,

You're the only one to seek.

God, why do I keep catching myself taking all of the glory,

when in the end I will see how You wrote and molded my story.

Daddy, why is it that the more I know, the less I cry out to You?

when I'm learning more each day,

that sometimes that what's best to do!

Daddy, I hate that knowledge could puff me up with pride,

when all I've really come to know is that You're the one to provide.

The older I get, the more I see,

how you are changing and molding me.

And the dumber I am, the more I see

how You're using the bad to help me see.

I need you FATHER, and nothing else matters,

You're greater Lord then all.

You teach me and train me and allow me to struggle

and pick me up when I fall.

I love you Lord, and I know, no matter where I go,

no matter what I do,

As my Heavenly Father, Lord, You're there to see me through!

And I'm realizing that it's not about me, but Daddy it's all about You.

Everywhere I look, I see your glory, and in my life I see your grace,

I see my mistakes and I turn from them and seek your face.

I say "why me?"

but You see the bigger picture

and You call me from the disgrace I see,

You teach me to say "Lord here I am, Father, please send me."

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 12/1/2008)

"Stressing Out!"

2009-01-08T10:09:00.000-08:00

O Lord, I'm not so good tonight,

I'm stressing to my max!

I wish I'd finished this work earlier

so I could finally relax!

Lord, I need more diligence,

and wisdom would help too.

And patience with myself,

and focusing more on You!

God, I'm such a fool sometimes,

I hate it when I'm this way!

I wait to write my paper until the very last day!

Lord, please be my guide as I write this paper tonight,

and remind me never to do this again,

when you wake me with the morning light!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 9/4/2008)

"Ashamed"

2009-01-08T10:01:00.002-08:00

Dear Lord, I'm so ashamed,
of my complaining heart.
The part of me that wants to give up
the works I barely start.
Why am I so prone to quitting
when you gave Your life for me?
Won't you open my blind eyes,
so that I once more can see?
My stomach is a giant knot,
by heart is bleeding too.
And I'm ashamed how much it took
for me to come to you.
Have I lost my way? Sweet Father,
whatever have I done?
I can't believe I'm such a fool
to look away from your son.
The lumps in my throat are swelling,
and I just can't stand the pain.
Why can't I be satisfied?
And why so much distane?
I think I've lost perspective,
I think I've lost my view.
Without you first in my life,
what ever could I do?
Why is my brain throbbing,
I long for your dear peace.
I long for your presence to embrace me,
and put me back at ease.
The tears, they stain my pillow,
until the day that I return.
And set ablaze my heart dear Lord,
and let a passionate fire burn.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 9/29/2007)

"My First Prayer to Daddy"

2009-01-08T09:55:00.000-08:00

I used to cling to daddy, everywhere I went.

I trusted him, I depended on him, and he was tops in my eyes.

He delighted in me; I was his 'little girl'.

I knew that he would never leave me

and I believed that whole-heartedly until the day he left.

I was hurting so much that I was numb.

He was no longer "Daddy" to me, he was my Distant Dad.

To me "Daddy" meant the strong protecting arms

that were always there.

And boy was I religious! The only Sunday I missed church was

the one time when I had the chicken pox when I was five.

I knew any common Sunday school Bible story you could rattle off,

and I'd prayed the prayer 3 times to be saved!

To me it was all a superstition I followed.

I did it to be a good kid in my family's eyes

and to make sure that I went to the 'good place' when I died.

And that's how I continued to live until one night...

You see, I was ten, I was broken,

and I found myself on the alter at camp.

Kids all around me were crying out to a God they knew.

I zoned and to me it was just me and God.

On my knees I cried out

"DADDY! I WANT TO KNOW YOU, NOT JUST HEAR ABOUT YOU!"

That was when He became real to me.

He filled my hole for a Daddy

and He is more perfect than any earthly Dad could ever be,

but best of all, He has promised,

"I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)

He is entirely trustworthy,

and He loves me more than I will ever know!

He is my refuge, my stronghold, HE IS MY DADDY.

He wraps His loving arms around me

and carries me through the hard times.

He picks me up when I have fallen

and He mends my wounds with care.

And I know, with all my heart that Daddy's arms are always there.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 11/5/2007)

"Decisions"

2009-01-08T09:51:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking...

about my friends from back when.

And wondering what kind of messes they may be in.

I've been wondering if they're happy,

if they're new friends are new and improved.

I've been wondering about their party-lifestyles,

and crying in my heart for them too.

Who am I to judge?

I want them to know the truth!

I despare, for I'm not there to tell them who is.

Jesus is waiting with open arms,

to love them and take them in,

but so many of them are so blinded and their hearts so full of sin.

He can take their blackened hearts and make them white as snow,

He can turn their sinful lives and teach them how to grow.

His truth is so full to me, His love is all I see.

I wish that I could tell them! Of His love and all he's done!

Of how God so loved the world that He gave His only Son!

How we can't do this on our own, He shows us all the way.

He gives me strength to keep on living this life everyday.

He tells me which way to choose, whether the left or the right,

His truth is written in His Word the Bible is my light.

And on days like these, when my heart is crying out,

I'll give my friends up to the Lord and pray He'll seek them out.

They need to put their trust in Him, and need His guiding hand.

I'll pray for a day God will use me to take His witness stand!!!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 3/3/2008)

"Wonderings of a Difficult Year"

2009-01-08T09:45:00.000-08:00

Lord I don't know where to start,

my mind is racing and I've a trembling heart.

Daddy, this year has been crazy,

I want to crawl into Your arms and cry like a baby!

Friends get engaged and it makes me glad,

my mother's divorce that makes me sad.

A dear friend lost her baby,

and a co-worker lost his mom.

More engagements, and a baby born.

My brother's diabetes came like an unexpected storm.

Another baby, and much more deaths,

many new widows in my church, oh what a mess!

I want to cry, "Daddy!" I want to cry!

To hear of a dear friend and father that died!

I want to breathe Daddy, but my breath is shallow,

My mind is swearling like a ferris wheel.

My cousin took her kids and left,

I can't imagine how her husband must feel!

Daddy, it just doesn't make sense,

how you could bring on such suspense...

or was this You???

Death is a normal part of life, like birth,

but what of divorce? it's as natural as any sin,

but it brings pain that burns within.

Marriage is a sacrade vow,

a union between man, wife, and God.

Lord, how beautiful you've made the world

with weddings, birth, and life.

And how dispicable our sin!

But that's not all! Oh praise you Lord!

I love you Oh so much!

You sent your Son for my discrace,

and brought beauty to a dying race.

You loved me more than anything

and brought hope to us all.

The truth is we are not alone,

and the truth is I'm so small.

But You are bigger, Lord by far,

and you put in place each distant star.

You help us through the trying times

and someday we'll see the truth.

This life will be but a blink

when compared to eternity with You!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 4/8/2008)

"Trusting You Lord"

2009-01-08T09:42:00.000-08:00

Lord, You've made your will so clear,

why did I ever doubt?

And why, even still,

do I struggle with patience until I find out?

Why do I struggle with trusting You,

when you've proved faithful all along?

Lord, I'll begin right now and give my all up to you.

My future is in Your hands,

do with it what you want to!

Take my past and present too,

take them and may they honor You!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 4/30/2007)

"Set Apart"

2009-01-08T09:35:00.000-08:00

I don't want to look like the world,
and give in to it's passions and desires,
I no longer live by the flesh,
but the Holy Spirit is my guide!
I don't want to invite temptation,
when I could avoid it all the while.
I just want to find my strength in Christ,
For He's the one that makes me smile!
I don't want to be held if it means that I'll get hurt,
I don't want to be alone with any guy
if it leads to displeasing my Lord.
I don't want to do what "feels right" and live with regret,
I'd rather have God lead my life and live at peace, without a fret.
I'd rather say "please wait to hold me",than invite temptation in.
I'd rather say "let's pray about this"
than break 2 hearts again and again.
I'd rather say "no" gently and risk a hurt or two,
than say "yes" repeatedly
and hurt the one whose love for me will be true.
I'd rather go on living alone with God by my side,
than have distractions from the Lord consume my life.
Don't get me wrong, God WILL make His will clear at the right time,
and don't get me wrong I will follow His command.
But if love is patient then I can wait;
On Christ the solid rock I stand!
If love is not selfish then I'll think of God,
for His will for me is flawless.
And since my God is omniscent and He is faithful to me all the while,
then I'll follow Him my whole life with my biggest joyful smile!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 5/8/2007)

"One Thing"

2009-01-08T09:33:00.000-08:00

If I could tell you just one thing,
and you would listen to my words,
I'd tell you to guard your heart
and use the Bible as your sword.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 5/9/2007)

"Goodbye"

2009-01-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

Daddy, my heart is breaking, and I just can't ease the pain,

my heart is overflowing with dark clouds of pouring rain,

I want to reach toward heaven and have You hold me tight,

and whisper in my ear "Darling, it's going to be alright",

You've commanded that I guard my heart;

You've helped me to do just that,

Then why, if I might ask, does my heart ache so bad?

It hurts to say goodbye to all of my dear dear friends,

and when I look at my calender I see this summer's end.

Lord, You've blessed me with these friends to love and lean on too,

but now that I have to leave, I don't know what to do.

Daddy, You know my heart, you know I'm sad,

You know it all,so please take this pain from me,

for my strength is very small.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 8/11/2007)

"Why Can't I Cry?"

2009-01-08T09:28:00.000-08:00

Why doesn't the pain well up within my eyes?

Is the pain too deep for tears this time?

How come I can't just be done with it and cry?

And why is it so hard for me to say goodbye?

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 8/12/2007)

"Faith to Say Goodbye"

2009-01-08T09:25:00.000-08:00

I miss them, Daddy, this is so hard,

to miss my friends so terribly and feel it in my heart.

I'm sorry to complain Dad, and I don't mean to disrupt,

but I just can't keep going with my mind so full of stuff.

I don't know what I'm doing, I'm foolish and I'm afraid,

Daddy take me in Your arms, and say that it's okay.

I didn't want to say goodbye, or get too attatched at all.

So now I'm praying for Your strength to keep me from a fall.
My heart is aching, Daddy please, why do I hurt so bad?

Why can't I just let it all go and never feel so sad?

Why can't I cry? or say goodbye with happiness of heart?

Why can't I see that it's okay for friends to be apart?

Am I so foolish that I've done something to spur on this pain?

Or is this a part of growth, to experience a heavy rain?

Thank You Daddy, for dear friends, who've cared for me so.

And if this is Your will, I know it's worth the rain to grow!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 8/12/2007)

"An Ode to the Lounge We Love"

2009-01-08T09:21:00.000-08:00

Oh lounge, so plain and yet so full,

of fun times and memories,

studies, games, and more,

it's clear what you are there for!

We love you lounge with your colorful walls,

your game tables, couches,

and haunted bathroom stalls.

We're fond of the thought of you,

a get away in a busy day.

A place to relax with a book and pretend to read.

A place to laugh and forget your grades,

to enjoy life and feel freed.

So thank you lounge, for your accomedies grand,

Oh how we'd like to shake your hand.

Take a bow, for we love you now,

until our college days end.

And when we've gone and left you dry,

without a card or a 'goodbye',

we'll all remember the good times we had,

and pray that it won't be too sad,

to close the door and walk away,

from your rooms that we enjoy today.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 3/11/2007)

"Emotional"

2009-01-08T09:18:00.000-08:00

No matter what's going wrong,
no matter what's going on,
I get to choose my emotions.

You don't make me happy,

You don't make me mad,

God is my provider and He makes me glad!!!
I put Him in control, for He is righteous and just,
no matter what you do, in GOD I trust!!!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 1/11/2007)

"The Quiet Type"

2009-01-08T09:15:00.000-08:00

Mysterious, gentle, bashful, sweet, and shy.

these are the things I see in those we call the "quiet type".

I, for one, was made quite loud with a bubbly, confident joy,

which is good some people say, but others don't employ.

"You hurt my head" one might say while covering his ears,

others claim it's just a game, and I should have no fears.

Should I change?

I want to ask while eyeing these beautiful "quiet types",

They seem so perfect and aloof!

If only I could imitate and no longer be a goof!

"But that's not me" I want to scream! I'm not aloof at all!

God made me just who I am:

confident, pure, bubbly, lovely, loud, and tall!!!

So for those who'd like to say that I happened to hurt their ears:

Your comments will not change me, that job is not yours.

And I'd like to say before I go, with all sincerity in my heart:

God has made me just as I am; I am HIS work of art!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 1/11/2007)

"My Guide"

2009-01-08T09:12:00.001-08:00

My vocabulary is much to small to discribe the wonders of You,

and my human brain could never know how intricate your ways.

Daddy, Father, Lord of all, You've been there through thick and thin.

I love You Lord with all I am, a fragment of Your love for me.

I am a speck of dirt,

but for me you have a plan.You care for me God,

and oh it feels so good.

To know that I am loved, much more than I ever could.

Your care is like the ocean deep and deeper still by far,

You alone created the world and put in place each star!

You are BEAUTIFUL my God and King, though I have never seen

that face of yours that looks down with love on me.

What could I have ever done to deserve such love? nothing.

What could I have ever accomplished on my own? not a thing.

How could I have ever known the splendor of your ways?

Without Your guiding hand and without Your saving grace.

I want to yell Your name from a mountain top,

I want to tell the whole world what a good thing I've got!

Lord You are so good to me. Please, forever stay by my side.

Mold me, change me, and forever be my Guide.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(wirtten 1/12/2007)

"Satan's Lies"

2009-01-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

Satan's lies pull me down, soficate and alter my behavior.

His lies purse my very breath and poison is their flavor.

But God is my antidote, for He alone is TRUTH,

He is my redeemer, and in Him I'm put to use.

No matter what may happen, I know I will be fine.

He protects me, pulls me close and whispers

"my child, you are mine".

The truth is I am beautiful,

the truth is I'm enough,

the truth is it's not God's time,

and the truth is I AM LOVED.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 1/16/2007)

"Hang in there Single Girl"

2009-01-08T09:05:00.000-08:00

God knows it all, He is faithful and true,

so in Him I have some encouraging words for you.

He knows all and He has a plan,

and somewhere out there He’s preparing your man.

No matter if you’ve met him or you frankly don’t know;

give it to God and let it go.

Stop all the fretting about whether he’ll call.

Stop your regretting, for God forgives all.

Now is a time that’s a challenge, it’s true,

but I’m willing to bet that God’s still changing you.

Patience, self-control, and dedication are the lessons we’re learning,

to focus on God and control that yearning.

God’s timing is perfect and grand,

and when His time comes, you’ll sure understand.

You’ll know it was well worth the wait

when you finally marry your one true soul-mate.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 11/28/2006)

"Lord, Why am I Me?"

2009-01-08T09:02:00.001-08:00

Lord, I wonder, and if I might pry...

How did you come about making me with each unique trait, and why?

I consider myself with wonder and awe,

of this intricate design right down to the tiniest flaw.

You've made me my own person, no one ever quite like me!

It confuses me, Lord, how You've made me to be!

I've got good traits that shine Your light through,

and bad traits that show me how I'll never deserve You.

It's funny the way I come together within Your fine design.

I don't understand how You came up

with this collection of traits of mine.

And if I may, I'd like to say, one thing without starting a rumor:

"By looking at me, Lord, I can see: YOU'VE GOT A SENSE OF HUMOR!"

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 1/3/2007)

"Stop Fretting"

2009-01-08T08:58:00.000-08:00

Soon enough you'll be a mother,

soon enough you'll be a wife,

but for now you're just my child,

go now: ENJOY YOUR LIFE!!!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written 1/2/07)

"My Beloved God"

2009-01-08T08:55:00.000-08:00

In the loneliness of the human race

Your heavenly arms embrace me.

I cry in the cold public eye and Your love has set me free.

I search for my unknown yearns;

the world beats me and leaves me empty.

Your love will always fulfill me and leave me overflowing.

Your love is indescribable. I cannot grasp it all myself.

You love the world unendingly, for it You gave Yourself.

Oh, Lord I love You oh so much. And You love me so much more.

I cannot begin to understand, what You love this sinner for.

You’ve blessed my heart with purity, and loved me oh so much.

You forgive everything I ask, I cannot believe my luck.

You’ve softened up my aching heart

and filled it with Your love so true.

You’ve taught me how to use it, and bless the world with it too.

I believe so strongly now, You’re more real than real to me.

If You’d have never loved me, I’d never have felt love you see.

Oh God You know my painful past,

You’ve experienced pain much greater.

If only I had lived back then, I would not be your trader!

You gave so much for me, I still don’t know why.

With Your love uplifting me, I know that I can fly.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written in 2006)

"Ode to my Future Husband"

2009-01-08T08:52:00.000-08:00

Dear Mister Man of mine,

I'll meet you all in good time,

because God's time is GOOD,

and HIS time is mine.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written in 2005)

"Close Encounter with the Evil One"

2009-01-08T08:47:00.001-08:00

I run, He follows. I scream. My screams drown.
He scares me. He corners me. Your angels surround me, and I escape.
You shelter me, you comfort me, and you lock the door and hug me.
He hates me. You love me. He uses and abuses. You care for me.
When I feel weak, God you are my protector.
When I feel trapped; Lord you are my escape.
And when Satan has me cornered in the dark alley of life,
You ward him off and shine down your light.
Alone and at home I can weep to you my heavenly Pop.
I felt unsafe, but you were there to make it all stop.
My stomach hurts, but you comfort me still;
Reminding me of the power and care of your will.
The enemy is dark; he is angry, malicious and cruel.
He doesn’t care who he makes his fool.
The next victim is all he needs;
To continue his terrible two-faced deeds.
He’s slimy and evil, he’s meaner than spit.
He’s a sickening sight and he’s frightful you bet.
He loves us not, our failure: his success.
He corners you and makes you forget through the stress.
You cry, but forget that God is near.
He scares you and you begin to fear.
But Daddy’s here, you’re just a lost sheep.
He wants to help you through your trouble so deep.
You’re safe now! You’re home and alive.
He is no longer here. You’re going to be fine.
A nightmare or too, but learn from all this:
When trouble is near remember you’re HIS.
When God is with you your power is strong.
So you now may begin your triumph song.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written in the summer of 2005)

"Beautiful You"

2009-01-08T08:33:00.000-08:00

I see you, beautiful you, just the way God intended.
And your heart is gorgeous too,
though more than once it’s been mended.
You never see what I can see, for I can see the truth.
You see flaws in a mirror and tell yourself “it’s no use”.
You mumble to yourself “if only if only”
and you criticize your crooked nose.
You hate your curly hair and the itty-bitty flaws in your baby toes.
You may have a birthmark covering your knee,
Or a burn that you got when you were three,
Your eyesight has gone bad and your ears can’t hear a thing.
You hate most mirrors and your back’s not what it used to be.
Your asthma keeps on flaring up, your gray hairs you can’t stand.
From the freckles on your nose to the wrinkles on your hand,
Your blue eyes are crossed and they tear up at the mirror.
You hate any access skin and the clothes you can’t fit in.
You may be too short, or maybe too tall
But why do you care? These things shouldn’t matter at all!
But I see you, beautiful you,
the mold was broken when you were made.
Even identical twins are not nearly the same!
So the bullies talk, and embarrass you so,
Hoping against hope: that their flaws don’t show.
Your heart is not mentioned in those fashion magazines.
But that’s what should matter most, if you know what I mean.
So you don’t have big muscles, so your lips are thin.
I say let’s be happy with the skin we’re in!
Then maybe that mirror could show,
A smile with a face a glow,
And your voice could be heard,
Sharing a kind word,
Pretty soon we’re just hearts with arms to reach out.
Our Creator is still with us if ever we’re in doubt.
So thank you Lord God Almighty, creator of this earth.
Thank you for making my life full of purpose and of worth.
Thank you for each little flaw that makes me only me,
Thank you for this heart of love,
For I am more than what they see!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written in 2005)

"To the Hands that Bullied Me"

2009-01-08T08:29:00.000-08:00

Down I fell. Forgive me please.

You hated me for being me.

A hidden tear, suppressed cry…

You kick me and I wonder why.

Next you pierce my brain with words,

Filled with hatred, quite absurd.

I curl into a ball and rock.

You spit on me; I shake in shock.

When would all this torture end?

In this world, was there one friend?

You stomp on me and others laugh,

You treat me like your lesser half.

I despair and blame myself,

As this before, I had been dealt.

My heart is surrounded with defense.

Later I would block this out… it made no sense.

But I am loved, you just don’t know.

Didn’t stick around for the whole show.

My life has taken a loving turn…

One that’s set my past a burn.

You poor soul I see you now.

Your anger was not towards me somehow.

You kick and claw, turn red quite fast.

For you were quite like me in the past.

A victim, helpless and uncontrolled.

I pray for life to make me bold.

You might think I want revenge,

I’ll pray for you; you’re lost my friend.

Maybe God will help you too.

May forever this prayer be prayed for you.

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(written in 2005)

"Thank You Friend"

2009-01-08T08:25:00.000-08:00

I've been blessed with a friend like you.

There are many people to bump into,

but I was blessed that one was you.

Sure I've bumped and others shoved back.

But you'll be there I can trust in that.

Some left me cold frozen and alone,

but you warmed me up and took me home.

You've made it a habit to always be there,

and I really love how much you care.

When I need a cup (of sugar), you give me a pound.

When I need a hug, you stick around.

When I call, you always pick-up.

When I have a test, you wish me luck.

When I need to talk, your ear is free.

When I and sick, you pray for me.

For this in return I'll do the same,

if you are sad, cold or lame.

Thank you friend I don't know what I'd do,

if I had not bumped into you!

(copyright Evelyn Worthington)
(Written in 2005)

"I Saw God"

2009-01-08T08:15:00.000-08:00

I saw God today: He turned to me and smiled.

He brightened up my dark day in the form of a child.

I saw God at five AM, as the sun peeked over the ocean.

It spread its colors on every wave and cloud,

showing God’s touch in motion.

I saw God at my school when someone stopped a fight.

It seemed like God was shining down His ever peaceful light.

I saw God in the bitter cold where a bell-ringer served ten hours.

She was wind-burned for the needy.

I remembered the cross for sins of ours.

I saw God in a flower; it was growing between boulders.

I remembered the hard times, when God lifted me onto His shoulders.

I saw God in a mother who cooked a meal for a homeless man.

That’s where God is, with the food in his hand.

I saw God in a bluebird who chirped to wake me up.

I remembered to start everyday with my chin always up.

I saw God in a grandmother who had faith in a night’s dream.

She survived three surgeries that night, countless angels at the scene.

I saw God at a funeral. As long-lost sisters hug and cry.

They forgive and forget in a snap.

During years of bickering their daddy’s life had slipped by.

I saw God in the stars: spread, vast, and shining through the dark.

I see what a large and beautiful God I serve.

I’m certain that you’ve seen Him too… Maybe you didn’t recognize,

My God in all His plainness, and in a smaller size,

But there He was I guarantee.

He loves you just as much and He’s here for you,

As blind as you may be.